SAY YAS!


tow kay

name: Md Yasin
d.o.b: 17th November
school: Raffles College
course: Advance Diploma in Tourism and Hospitality Management
in-take: July 2007
enjoys: cycling and swimming
talkcocksingsong

11:26 pm, Saturday, August 18, 2007

it's been sometime. this week has been one of the week i wouldn't like to recall. it's been tough for myself. very much indeed. knowing that you had failed to make sure things went well no matter how hard you tried. bringing bad news would be the last thing on my list but i had to prioritise this as top. leaving her in doubt would just cause her more pain. i have not met him for sometime neither am i in contact with him. god, where's my brother? has god forbiden us to meet? i would normally see him from his balcony when i come back from school but i have not so far. i do not know what other mediums of communication i could think of.

i had been unwell, in terms of health, for the past week. cough, flu, block nose, asthma and slight fever attacked me all at once. i couldn't concentrate much in class although i never did but yeah. i took medications everyday but only once a day. i can't take it during lessons. you crazy? i would be sleeping and snoring in class. it would worsen the condition even.i need rest when i'm on drugs. Clara gave me a disapproved look when i lighted a stick. but what the hell, i can't resist it. i kept going to the toilet to throw my flegm and pee-ing away all the plain water i had been drinking to satisfy my thirst.

only certain people would understand what i am going to rant next..

i lost my wife. i don't know where he had gone. it's funny you know. the fact that he stays 2 blocks away from me. he seems to be MIA. haha. maybe he's busy with he's student council thingy, school, work or all of them at once. but yeah. he's my only one trusted friend, or i should say, brother. sad to say that we've parted abit since school begun and we went our separate ways.

i once said to him, "anything for a brother". so it's a promise that i made to him that i'll help him no matter it's consequences.

in the MRT, seats were full although it's at Pasir Ris, the usual morning crowd. so we stood. she seem so cheerful for me to break the news to her. i decided to talk bout things that surrounds us like her "cacat" toes. mine's normal for your info. "cacat" is a malay term for disabled. she started about searching golds in mines. haha. she totally got me away from the news. my laugh seized when she mention, "somethin (prefer not to say it)". i didn't know why but i was obvious as my expression changed. confirmed with him but he didn't reply.

walked her to her school as i had a lot more time. on the way, i was thinking wether to tell her now or another day. i decided to tell her when we reached her school where i could sit down and speak to her properly but something held me back. maybe it's because i can't bare to hurt her with another bad news. i've been the middle person before and definetly telling her this is being another one, again.

i told her after my class and during her break. imagine the drop of temperature in my body. the coldness you feel inside you when delivering bad news to someone. it's like telling your 8 year old daughter that her mother died. she ignored my eyes. i knew it was a signal to leave her alone. so we exchanged goodbyes and went our separate path, she back to school and i had know idea where i was going. i was walking in all directions. i don't know why it's affecting me alot when it's not related to me. i just found a spot somewhere nearby and sat there for what-seems-like 30 minutes. i sat there thinking and just thinking. i didn't expect anything like this. we, me her and him were like family. just that he is my wife and she's our daughter which is biologically impossible.

me, being one of her trusted friend, betraying her in a way of not telling her any sooner and relaying her this bad news. and him, being my trusted brother, had not replied my texts much nor returning my calls unless it's regarding her. i guess i feel that i'm attach to both of them that seeing things happening like this just hurts me too, in a way. especially seeing her like this. after what she had recovered. oh god.

i worry for her well-being and for his sudden missing in action status. could things be any better? i'm sorry i had to rant it here. i had know where else.

end. please keep this story to yourself. thank you.

monday is exam for front office. 30 mcqs and 5 short answer questions. not too bad. pretty easy. just need to understand here and there. wish me luck. i plan to go school with her on monday. i just need to see her. goodnight my lovely readers.